Welcome

We're really glad you stopped by! If you are looking for creative parenting support and tools to help your child, we can help.
This blog is no longer active, so if you want lots of parenting tools and tips visit
visit us at www.thecreativityqueen.com

The Creativity Queen

Friday, May 15, 2009

SCORE Helps Entrepreneur Find a Creative New Direction


SCORE Helps Entrepreneur Find a Creative New Direction
Laura Dessauer decided to put her master's degree in art therapy to use aiding children through her Sarasota business, Creativity Queen LLC. Laura met with Manasota SCORE mentor Wally Bishop for 25 mentoring sessions.
She opened her firm in November 2006, just as the Florida economy was beginning to slide. Together with Wally, she developed her strategic plan, trademarked her logo and planned a sales strategy. She wrote a book using the character she created, "Creativity Queen."
Wally helped Laura identify opportunities that included multiple product lines to give her more revenue options. She not only offers direct art therapy, but she’s expanded her business into 12-week courses for children, plus a book and DVD available commercially.
SCORE provided mentoring on business planning, sales planning, financing, leasing, marketing planning and publishing. Laura Dessauer was honored by Manasota SCORE as client of the year in 2007 for her first year of success. She says the SCORE honor brought her publicity and credibility and helped more people find out about her business.
"What I learned from SCORE continues to help me make it through the recession. SCORE mentoring helped prepare me, so I could double revenue for four months and have a cushion as the recession continues."
—Laura Dessauer, owner, Creativity Queen
Laura's first year in business was profitable and she added her first employee. Her second year revenue grew 20 percent and she continued to be profitable. As the recession took hold in Florida, Laura says, "SCORE helped me lay the foundation, so I could be nimble and effective in adjusting my product offerings in the fall of 2008. SCORE mentoring helped prepare me, so I could double revenue for four months and have a cushion as the recession continues."
Laura adds, "I wholeheartedly recommend SCORE. The business experience and knowledge my counselor shared helped guide me through unfamiliar territory and set up a path forward to meet my goals. What I learned from SCORE continues to help me make it through the recession. I'm ahead in revenue for 2009. I'll be back in touch with my mentor to brainstorm ideas and look ahead to the next six months and how to stay profitable in 2009."

From the SCORE website: http://www.score.org/success_creativity_queen.html

Monday, April 27, 2009

Are you raising a codependent child? Three things you need to know


Are you raising a codependent child? I know, the statement sounds quite alarmist. However, I see many children in my practice whose parents are teaching them codependent behaviors and they are not even aware of what they are doing!

Read the article below to ensure you are not doing the three things below. If you find yourself falling into these traps it is time to make a change!

Feature Article: "Are you raising a codependent child? Three things you need to know"

In the past codependency was associated with person who enabled an alcoholic or drug addict. These days codependency has become associated with emotional dependencies in a relationship. All relationships involve a dependency on another person to some extent. However, when an individual compromises their own values and wants to avoid rejection and anger they are exhibiting codependent behaviors.

The reason why this is so important for parents to understand is that its origins start in childhood. So if you are doing the following three things you may be planting the seeds of codependency.

1. Being inflexible ( or the type A- "Superparent")

If you are the type of person who has a rigid plan of how and when things are done you do not allow your child an opportunity to voice their choice. If you are so in control of their schedule, their food choices, their clothing choices, or their playmates you are restricting your child from having the opportunity to explore their choices. You send out a message loud and clear to your child that they are not responsible for their choices or decisions and someone else has all the power. As they grow older they are likely to seek out relationships in which someone else has all the power and control.

What can you do? Allow your child some freedom of choice. If it is not a safety issue then it is negotiable. Let go of the need to be in control so you child has the freedom to grow and learn, even from their mistakes!

2. Having your child meet your needs

I know many parents who fall into this trap but do not see that they are doing this. If you are not fulfilling yourself in other areas of your life, like your relationships, your work, or your passions, you may default to living vicariously thorough your child. When you spend more energy on your child's interests and less on what gives your life meaning and pleasure you model codependent self-sacrificing behaviors. You also unconsciously teach your child that their value comes from pleasing you. The cute "look mom" behavior phase that most kids go through when they want your approval may continue into adulthood.

What can you do? Get your own needs met with positive relationships and ways to replenish yourself. Instead of constant praise ask your child how they thought they did. Encourage them to self-praise.

3. Wanting to solve problems for them

When they come home and talk about a mean peer or a problem at school what do you do? Do you react and rescue, slipping into your parent problem-solver mode and coming up with a plan of action? Essentially you are taking control of their ability to solve the problems they are encountering. This sends your child the message that they are not competent or responsible enough to figure out how to solve their problems and that someone else needs to do it for them. Imagine what this will look like as they become adults? Will they find relationships in which another person will tell them what to do?

What can you do? Safety first, everything else is negotiable! If it is not a physical or psychological safety issue allow your child the opportunity to figure out how to solve the problem. If you LISTEN, without offering advice, your child will likely figure out some things they can do differently.

The reason why so many children have success in our programs is that we offer a safe place for them to explore their thoughts, feelings, and choices. When given an opportunity, children will come up with ways to solve their problems. As adults we can offer support and encouragement as they explore their choices.

One last important thing. If you find that you are doing one or more of the behaviors above, congratulations! That's right, Congratulations! Why? Because it means that you are aware of what you are doing, and awareness is the first step in making changes. So the next time you notice you are defaulting to one of the behaviors above, STOP, and explore what other things you can do. If you'd like more support we would be happy to help you. Email us at info@thecreativityqueen.com or call us at (941)504-8498.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Art Therapist Sarasota, FL


What does it mean to be an art therapist? A balance of head and heart, an ability to be open to a process whereby we don't know the answers but are willing to accompany another in their self-exploration, a trust that the art and the creative process will ultimately provide healing and growth, a willingness to suspend "knowing" to play in the unknown place of possibles and creation, and love- pure love for those brave individuals who allow us to be witness to their pain and growth.  

Today I celebrate those who have trusted me along their journey, what an honor to be an art therapist!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Painting Party Under the Oaks





We had a fun time playing under the beautiful trees at Towels Curt on a cool fall night. Thank you to everyone who stopped by and painted and an extra big thank you to those who donated canned goods and $$$ to All Faiths Food Bank. We raised $100.00 to feed families in our community- now that feels SUPERfabulicious!





Sunday, October 5, 2008

Beyond Art Therapy: Creating the Life YOU Want!


You are the boss of you! It is YOUR life. So what is it you desire to create? No really... what do you want out of your life? I remember asking myself this question, again and again, a few years back. I could not see clearly what I wanted. I had ideas, but I had a list of excuses of why I couldn't do what I desired. The list of exceptions outweighed the list of what I desired. Needless to say I stayed in the same place, longing for something different and continuing to experience the same. It was when I liberated myself from staying in the same place because of my excuses and fears I was able to step more boldly into my life and create what it is I so desired. The most powerful liberating thing is as I become more clear and release the limiting beliefs and excuses in my life, such as "I don't have enough time", "I don't have enough money", I attract more of what I do want and others who are open and ready to grow into their own divine plan. The clarity came from focusing on what I do want, and not what I don't want. Yet, I hear from many. "I don't know what I do want". So take out the art materials and ask for an answer.


Pull out paper, collage materials, magazines, markers, crayons, and anything else that gives you joy. Quiet your mind a bit before you begin and ask the question, "What would my life be like if I was living on purpose"? Allow images, colors, and words to flow from you without judgement. Put this image in a place you can see it to remind you of the life you are creating.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Let Go and Live Fully


I had recently attended a workshop for personal growth to help unclutter limiting beliefs. I was in shock and awe at the room filled with beautiful bright people who were still holding on to past beliefs that no longer fit them. In that moment I had a big bold "ah-ha". It became absolutely clear that my life's work is helping myself and others shatter these imposed limiting beliefs. As I sit with adults in my practice and help them uncover their possibilities I see, again and again, all the hurt, shame, and fear that was never expressed as a child. Think about it, if you were to look at the areas in your life that you still feel fear it would more than likely bring you back to childhood experiences. How can you gently, and lovingly release these experiences and allow yourself to grow? More so, if you have children, how can you help them to release their worries and fears so they do not carry these with them as they mature. Imagine how different your life would be if you were heard, respected, and understood and how you can change your life and you child's life by letting go of limiting beliefs. I offer the article below as a gift to help you release and let go of that which no longer serves you.


On the ride home from Naples I cried, not just little tears, but big huge bawling tears. The kind of tears that wipe you out for a whole day. I had been holding on to fear and needed to let go. Driving and crying may not be the safest, but I needed the quiet container of my car to let it all out. I was crying old tears, you know the stuff that you thought you had taken care of years ago, yet the old tapes were still rattling around in my brain. There is nothing like a big release to let go of these thoughts that no longer fit. Think about fear. A wise professor told me it all boils down to control, safety, responsibility, and self-esteem. Fear keeps us in our place. Our limiting thoughts keep us stuck. Our feelings keep us exactly were we are. Although it may be extraordinarily uncomfortable, it is familiar. We often would rather have the familiar, even if it feels bad, than to have the unknown. If we try something new and it is outside of our comfort zone it may feel unsafe.

Can you teach safety? Can a child or even an adult learn to feel safe and secure when times are difficult? What we know for sure is that life is continuously changing. It is unpredictable and uncertain. We have to learn how to be with the fear and discomfort in order to grow. In other words, we must teach ourselves and our children to feel safe, to soothe when upset, to manage all of the big overwhelming feelings. If we do not do this we fail ourselves and our children. They will continue to seek outside of themselves validation, assurance, and will find comfort in others or substances to soothe their fears. It is the biggest gift to give a child the tools to learn how to manage these feelings. It is our biggest gift to learn this for ourselves so that our children will grow from our willingness to step beyond fear and truly honor and respect our own needs for safety and self-love.



I know my big tears were beautiful reminders that I am growing and ready to move into a new emotional place. I thankfully welcomed them, knowing that my willingness to open to these big feelings already created a space for change.

My gift for you is a safe place, real or imagined, that you can retreat to when you need to. Know that this soft loving place exists only for your respite and renewal. Use the art materials to create an image of this safe place. Visit it as often as you need to, gently knowing this place is your gift to yourself.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Creative Clarity- Art Therapy and Limiting Beliefs




What if you were to live your life so clearly on purpose that whatever you did would take you steps closer to your creative purpose? I have been delightfully stepping more boldly into the life I so desire to create. Yet, in doing so I have had all the little (and not so little) gremlin thoughts creep up in my mind. We all know these thoughts- what if I fail, what if I succeed, what if I am embarrassed, what will other's think, will I be exposed, can other's see my warts and all and still lovingly embrace me, what if they reject me, or humiliate me, what if I humiliate myself. I hear these thoughts and rather than shutting them down and pushing them aside I honor them by listening to the deep underlying message, "What is it that you really want"? They answer back clearly, "Don't leave us behind, we just want to be embraced and loved".

Think about those aspects of yourself that you try to avoid upsetting by playing it safe. All they really want is some love and attention. Rather than running away, shutting down, or shutting them out maybe you can sit with these thoughts and find a way to peacefully reconcile with them using some art materials. Take a moment to use some paint, markers, chalks or oil pastels and create an image of these thoughts. Ask these thoughts what they need from you, then allow a space to listen and create artwork that gives these thoughts what they need.


When you let go of old thinking you allow space for creating new ways of thinking.