I had recently attended a workshop for personal growth to help unclutter limiting beliefs. I was in shock and awe at the room filled with beautiful bright people who were still holding on to past beliefs that no longer fit them. In that moment I had a big bold "ah-ha". It became absolutely clear that my life's work is helping myself and others shatter these imposed limiting beliefs. As I sit with adults in my practice and help them uncover their possibilities I see, again and again, all the hurt, shame, and fear that was never expressed as a child. Think about it, if you were to look at the areas in your life that you still feel fear it would more than likely bring you back to childhood experiences. How can you gently, and lovingly release these experiences and allow yourself to grow? More so, if you have children, how can you help them to release their worries and fears so they do not carry these with them as they mature. Imagine how different your life would be if you were heard, respected, and understood and how you can change your life and you child's life by letting go of limiting beliefs. I offer the article below as a gift to help you release and let go of that which no longer serves you.
On the ride home from Naples I cried, not just little tears, but big huge bawling tears. The kind of tears that wipe you out for a whole day. I had been holding on to fear and needed to let go. Driving and crying may not be the safest, but I needed the quiet container of my car to let it all out. I was crying old tears, you know the stuff that you thought you had taken care of years ago, yet the old tapes were still rattling around in my brain. There is nothing like a big release to let go of these thoughts that no longer fit. Think about fear. A wise professor told me it all boils down to control, safety, responsibility, and self-esteem. Fear keeps us in our place. Our limiting thoughts keep us stuck. Our feelings keep us exactly were we are. Although it may be extraordinarily uncomfortable, it is familiar. We often would rather have the familiar, even if it feels bad, than to have the unknown. If we try something new and it is outside of our comfort zone it may feel unsafe.
Can you teach safety? Can a child or even an adult learn to feel safe and secure when times are difficult? What we know for sure is that life is continuously changing. It is unpredictable and uncertain. We have to learn how to be with the fear and discomfort in order to grow. In other words, we must teach ourselves and our children to feel safe, to soothe when upset, to manage all of the big overwhelming feelings. If we do not do this we fail ourselves and our children. They will continue to seek outside of themselves validation, assurance, and will find comfort in others or substances to soothe their fears. It is the biggest gift to give a child the tools to learn how to manage these feelings. It is our biggest gift to learn this for ourselves so that our children will grow from our willingness to step beyond fear and truly honor and respect our own needs for safety and self-love.
I know my big tears were beautiful reminders that I am growing and ready to move into a new emotional place. I thankfully welcomed them, knowing that my willingness to open to these big feelings already created a space for change.
My gift for you is a safe place, real or imagined, that you can retreat to when you need to. Know that this soft loving place exists only for your respite and renewal. Use the art materials to create an image of this safe place. Visit it as often as you need to, gently knowing this place is your gift to yourself.
